RETREAT EXPERIENCE I am writing this review with such gratitude and awe that these ‘sacred medicines’ exist to help people like me. I came to Modern Ancient physically, spiritually and emotionally worn out and confused. When I left, I felt like my soul had been properly nourished for the first time. Confusion was replaced with clarity, my minor health problems and depression disappeared and I felt grounded, new and reborn. Just so ready to face the world and tackle anything. It was transformational and life changing as many have said already. The process of clearing and healing during the ceremonies was a bit challenging, but not as much as I first thought. I feel like a lot of people would be able to handle it if prepare well and take this journey seriously. It is important to surrender because it makes the process flow better. The lovely team at Modern Ancient really make the process easy to understand. The integration advice made sense after. It helped me unearth my inner pain and the reasons why I had blocks in my life. Before I came to Modern Ancient, I did not have anything particularly wrong with me, however I probably had an eating issue because I ate at all hours of the day, even getting up night to snack on something. I also felt bored and restless in life. I felt depressed with my general routine and relationship with my partner as he did not understand me. He also tried to leave me more than three times in a year and I begged him to say. Looking back, I can see I had self-worth issues. I was not happy with myself and my attachment to him and other things in life that I could not seem to let go of. I also suffered from headaches and general stress, lack of energy and motivation with things that I wanted to do, like exercise and healthy eating for example. My work colleague and good friend recommended Suya and Modern Ancient retreat in Peru to me. She attended in 2019 and in her own words had "one of the most meaningful experiences" of her life. I noticed she lost so much weight after Peru and was a healthier person who was able to leave toxic situations, which of course was of great interest to me. To start booking a retreat with Modern Ancient, I was asked to complete a quick medical screening form. I passed this and then they gave me a very detailed form online that asked a lot about my personal life, feelings and past events. I had a video chat with Ama-ra Sen so she could vet me and “connect with my energy and higher-self”. Prior to attending the 14 day retreat suggested to me by Modern Ancient based on the answers I gave them, I had to follow some strict eating rules for a week. I am not a vegan or vegetarian, so it was very challenging, but I managed it for most of the week. I was actually quite scared and nervous that week about taking Kambo and Iboga as well as coming to Peru alone because it was all new to me. I decided to email Modern Ancient as I nearly cancelled my retreat, but they were very helpful and reassuring and explained that it’s normal to be so nervous. It was comforted to know that I would be picked up from the airport in Iquitos and accompanied for the whole of my retreat, including being dropped off at the airport when the retreat ended. I had no plans to stay on in Iquitos because I was coming to Peru only for the healing program. After the retreat, I can say that I didn't have to worry about anything! I was picked up and taken to the beautiful jungle retreat! It’s a lovely place. Very well maintained and constructed. Modern and comfortable in an Amazon rainforest setting like they said. The energy is peaceful and positive so I felt comfortable from the moment I arrived and met the whole team. I was taken care of exceeding well on retreat and felt a bit spoilt and over attended to actually! For example, during the ceremony, when I purged, I was surprised to see three people around me within seconds. One was holding my bucket, the other one was holding toilet paper so I could blow my nose and another person was holding a glass of water. I did not expect the quality level of care and attention taken at Modern Ancient. We went on a boat trip down the Amazon river and saw some pink dolphins and some exotic birds and animals in another part of Iquitos and it was beautiful and charming all at once. As promised, I was accompanied by the retreat team at all times and the people in Iquitos seemed very sweet and friendly. I did not experience anything worrying when out and about in Iquitos. Suya explained that we were in the tourist areas and they are generally quite safe. I did not plan to stay on in Iquitos after my retreat, but I ended up doing just that! I explored the markets and shops and purchased a few Ayahuasca embroidery cloths and Ayahuasca chains. I am really pleased with my decision to come to Iquitos and with my experience at Modern Ancient. It was extraordinary, transformative, deep and awakening. I recommend the team and sisters at Modern Ancient to anyone who is interested in this type of healing work. SACRED MEDICINE EXPERIENCE The first sacred medicine I was given was Kambo by Ama-ra. Two dots on my right arm. She felt my heart beating fast and decided not to do the dots on my left arm as it was too near my heart. It was my first time with Kambo and I was really scared. The strong pulsing and energy started in my head and it felt like I had an energetic head brace on that was clamping in towards the center of forehead. So uncomfortable and I did not know what to do. Ama-ra told me to breathe and surrender to the uncomfortable feeling and think of the green tree frog. She showed me a pic. Prior to the ceremony, Ama-ra had helped me understand the process and how I could surrender. One of the most important things she told me to do before any sacred medicine ceremony is to program my mind through repetition of words into thinking that I am open. I needed to forget anything I have ever learned or think is true and I need to come before the sacred medicine like a baby, who knows nothing. Ama-ra explained that this clears a lot of space within a person and the sacred medicine can come in and heal, re-program and teach us. A lot of people are full up and this blocks the medicine being able to come into them. This is the fight that they bring to the medicine and this is why they struggle and suffer with the energy in the ceremony. So, I surrendered and just let myself feel uncomfortable during Kambo, thinking to myself that I don't even know what uncomfortable is anymore. I prayed to the spirit of the frog, my higher-self and God as a divine energy as instructed by Ama-ra. I purged immediately after and felt a lot better. The uncomfortable feeling and ring around my head was still there but it was a lot less and I purged a few more times until it left altogether. It was over quite quickly after the dots were put on my arm, not more than 40 minutes I would say. My head hurt and I felt really weak after, but lighter and cleared out energetically. I lay in the maloka for a while with soothing music. Ama-ra then took me to the forest and I bathed under a big tree with a mixture of plants to clear my energy field. I definitely felt so much better after the plant bath, the weak feeling went and I immediately felt great and energized. I spent the rest of the day relaxing and talking to the staff, eating and taking naps. The following day I woke up feeling fantastic! I did more plant treatments in the morning with Ama-ra after some sungazing. This was then followed by yoga with Suya, learning about integration and sacred medicine and doing the exercise sheets. Some of the questions made me really think hard about who I wanted to be. The same day, before my first Iboga ceremony, I did a fire ceremony. I had to write a list of all the negative things I want gone from my life that was signed and dated by me. This was burnt in the fire while praying to the fire. First Iboga ceremony: This took place with an incredible Iboga Shaman, Suya, Ama-ra and the ceremony helpers. Anyone would feel the Shaman’s mighty energy if they were next to him! He was dressed in leaves, spiritual beads and red and white body powder. He looked incredible, like part of the jungle! He did not really speak to me and just smiled. He concentrated on praying, singing and playing an instrument. I offered food to my ancestors after a gratitude prayer and then we started the ceremony. I did not feel fearful when taking Iboga as I had programmed myself into acceptance mode using the guidance from the sisters. I was given a bit of powdered Iboga on my tongue first and it tasted very bitter. I connected with the energy and felt my forehead starting to pulse. I was given more Iboga in capsule form bit by bit for the first few hours of the ceremony. I felt the energy of Iboga as rushes of thoughts that bombarded me and I dealt with them in the way I had been taught. As the ceremony progressed, I had amazing visions. They were like perfect drawn pictures in shades of grey but they were clear and it was so amazing that Iboga zoomed in on my visions to bring my attention to parts of my visions that were confusing. For example I saw this one vision of me jumping over a wall head first and it confused me. The vision would not change until I got why I was being show it. I saw a zoom in of my head going over the wall. I realised that Iboga was telling me I was jumping into the situation (I was thinking about prior to that vision) too fast without thinking about it properly first. When I had that realisation, an actual green tick appeared and the vision changed! I found this so fascinating! I was given other tests while the ceremony was in progress. I started judging the sound of one of the forest birds as it was so loud and annoying. My ‘higher-self’ which felt like an inner guiding voice who was a part of me and apart from me at the same time started telling me about my ‘life exam’ with the bird to help me balance judgment. The inner guidance explained that Iboga, my higher-self and the higher-self of the bird had all collaborated to give me my ‘life exam’ so I can practice balancing judgment. LOL was all I thought then! The inner guidance kept repeating itself until I took the ‘life exam’ seriously and started to let go of judgment of the bird in the step by step way that I had been taught. And then the green tick appears again! I felt like I was in school, well I am, life school LOL. Similar ‘life exams’ were given to me throughout the ceremony. I also saw the spirit of Iboga as a beautiful and traditional African lady from the shoulders up. I was shocked to see her and felt so blessed and humbled. I could not stop saying thank you and feeling so grateful. Her image came from behind me and then I saw it in front of me. Every time I got a question right, her image appeared in front of me again from behind and then moved to the upper right side of my vision and then disappeared. The ceremony was a lot of fun and I felt so awake and switched on, like I had never ever felt before in my entire life. I got all the answers to the questions right and eventually passed the tests eventually. I think the ‘Trinity Program’ approach and mindset training Suya gave me in advance and on retreat helped with my perspective of things. The one thing that was repeated in the ceremony that the integration program also teaches is taking full responsibility. IN EVERYTHING. After the ceremony, I thought that people who struggled with taking full responsibility for everything they attract will have a super hard time if they did a full Iboga ceremony. It would be better for them to start working on changing their thinking first. Ama-ra explained my life path number to me, which I had not heard of. She explained that a person with a life path number 8 or 44 is a master number and a very old soul who has lots of practice at life as they have reincarnated so many times. This is why old souls pass ‘life exams’ in Iboga ceremonies as they have had lots of practice. Master numbers need to remember how to master themselves first and then they can go on to help others master themselves. Well, most of what I remember from Modern Ancient and all my ceremony experiences clicked. I honestly felt that the whole retreat experience helped me to remember what I somehow subconsciously knew. I needed this push upwards. The powerful ceremony was full of visions from my childhood, family members who had passed on, me seeing myself looking at myself with lots of love, african music spirits and nature spirits.. I also saw visions of things which were kept from me and I checked the information out after my retreat and it was verified. I was more than shocked. I understand more about energy fields and multi-dimensional existences now. The harp instrument the Shaman played in the ceremony was very upbeat and not a sound that I was used to, but it was really enjoyable and put me into the journeying state. He also sung and prayed in an African language, his voice was very powerful and healing. I did not need any help during my first ceremony especially with me being so wide awake. There was a fire burning outside the Maloka which felt very healing every time I went closer to it. I did not want to look in the mirror during the ceremony even though the Shaman, Ama-ra and Suya tried to convince me it was a good idea. I felt a bit scared just by thinking about it, so I gave the mirror part a miss. The ceremony lasted for hours and hours, it was easily over 12 hours. I felt completely normal and awake but at the same time felt like I was in a higher vibration, in full control and very grounded. I had a distinct knowing of remembering that this world is the dream and our real home is the astral plane, which is where our soul goes when we sleep and when we die. I drank a lot of water during the ceremony as the Iboga was making me feel dehydrated and my head started to hurt. After around 12 hours, the visions started to fade, but I could see ‘light reflections’ when I blinked and lots of faint line visions. The wide awake feeling and constant thoughts continued well into the next day and I could not sleep that night. The following day, I did more plant treatments with the team as well as other cleansing remedies such as external natural tobacco smoke cleansing and spiritual plant powders blown up my nose. I managed to get some sleep on the second day after the ceremony. In between the second day after my first Iboga ceremony and my second Iboga ceremony, there was a big, negative, horrible and sad suicidal feeling that came over me. It was very unexpected and deep. The explanation given to me by Ama-ra and Suya made sense. They both explained the ‘ego’ of humans and that the feeling of death and dying was because the imbalanced part of my ego was dying and being reborn. They explained that it was a very important and profound part of my healing process and that it would not last. We did a lot of integration work while I was feeling that way and I accessed a lot of my inner strength. I was actually able to detach from the deep sadness and not let it take over me or react to it by thinking about actual suicide. But, it did make me wonder about how people would deal with these feelings that came up after Iboga if they did not know why they felt that way or how to deal with it. When I started sleeping properly after my first ceremony, my dreams became very vivid with lots of messages and interesting themes. Second Iboga ceremony: My second Iboga ceremony was different to my first one. I understood that my ‘higher-self’ took away a lot of my visions as I was being distracted by them and I needed to go within myself more, which I did. A lot of reasons why my mind, body and soul were misaligned were revealed to me by mother Iboga. I think I would have never been able to uncover these reasons myself without her help. I was quite weak during my second ceremony and purged uncontrollably three times. I still did not feel like looking in the mirror during the ceremony. I saw lots of images that I could not make out flash by and I knew it was part of my energy being cleansed and healed. I went through many emotions from deep suicidal sadness to deep unconditional love, gratitude, joy and forgiveness. I felt the beautiful ‘Christ consciousness’ and found the whole process fascinating, like I was sampling all available emotions given to us by the Divine for the experience of it. It was a magical, humbling and an experience that is hard to put into words. My sleeping pattern was similar to how I was after my first Iboga ceremony. I continued with exercises given to me by Ama-ra and Suya. I sat with Suya for guided energy healing mediations, yoga and practiced some routines explained from Ayurveda medicine. I have found them useful since returning home especially if I have a cold or feeling run down. We also went for an amazing boat ride on the amazon river and visited an animal sanctuary which was relaxing after the intense ceremony. Before my retreat ended, all remnants of sad and heavy energy left me. I just felt a joy and happiness that I have never ever felt in this incarnation. I left to go back home in a state of ecstasy and bliss. I felt ready for all the greatness that I felt was coming to me! ONE MONTH CHECK-IN AFTER RETREAT EXPERIENCE I continued with the integration exercises and became more aware of my life exams in every situation. Life exams kept popping up constantly to test me and give me a chance to practice balancing anything that needed to be balanced. I did not want my euphoric state to leave me after leaving the retreat, so I continued with the hypnotherapy, NLP and pranic energy higher-self exercise. I also started wearing crystal necklaces and sleeping with crystals in my bed. I generally managed to keep my vibration high and observed a real difference with my reactions, habits and attachment to things. For example, I used to drink lots of cappuccinos every day, but now I don't want even one. My eating habits have changed and I have more control over them. I no longer eat late at night. I started practicing intermittent fasting and found I could do that easier than I thought. I feel like the mental block has almost gone. I no longer suffer from headaches, lack of motivation or low energy. I am better at focusing on my goals and trying to make the best use of my time, I’m quite happy being vegetarian now. I no longer feel like eating fish and I am using Suya’s smoothie and juicing recipes. My partner and I went our separate ways and I did not hang onto him or stop him leaving the relationship this time. We ended our relationship quite amicably. From my side, it felt natural and the right thing to do. I have decided to stay single for a bit, which was something I could not do before. THREE MONTH CHECK-IN AFTER RETREAT EXPERIENCE My vibe is still high. For me, being without a partner meant more free time and a lot less stress. I have started exercising a lot and I am so pleased with my energy levels and consistency. Before my retreat program, I would never have had the energy, motivation, focus or time to do the things I have taken on right now. One of the things Mother Iboga showed me was that my lack of self love and low self esteem was due to me being bullied as a child and called racist names growing up. I then looked outside myself for compliments and relied on attention from guys to feel good about myself. I could not handle rejection or had the strength to detach from unhealthy relationships and situations because I had not dealt with my soul pain, which had a lot to do with my childhood and growing up. Being stuck in unhealthy life loops is stressful and it tired me out mentally and physically. Dealing with my soul pain is not something I could have done on my own. I am 100% certain that without the Kambo and Iboga ceremonies, I would have been stuck in the same loops my whole life. I guess I would have improved a bit during this lifetime if I made the effort, but I don't think it would have been any time soon. SIX MONTH CHECK-IN AFTER RETREAT EXPERIENCE I had one low point, but I am doing well and my eating habits and better sleep is helping keep me energised. Exercising, juicing and intermittent fasting are generally part of my daily routine. I am noticing that people who I was close to are not in my life that frequently anymore. I've met new, more positive people instead. I feel better about my body and motivated to look after my skin. My skin and hair look fantastic and I feel a higher energy level. I have always liked my job looking after people, caring for them and making them better. But now, I love my job and see the impact I make on other people's lives. I realise it really is my life’s calling and I no longer want to change my career path. I feel motivated to do some charity work and adopt a cat in the near future. I realised that I have accepted aging and death and it does not scare me like it used to. I trust more in a divine plan and timing for me and for all of us. I’m moving deeper into a path of surrender, and learning how to hand over control of my life to the divine and all knowing. I’m also very grateful for all the information I received on my retreat which was generous with many great recommendations.